For the Hurting Mom or Daughter on Mother’s Day

Do you ever cringe at the thought of Mother’s Day? When the whole world tells you it’s time to tell your mom how much you love her, do you wonder if you even can? Or are you the dear mom wondering if this might be the year your wandering child will remember you?

Mother’s Day sounds bright and grand when it’s full of family luncheons, blooming flowers, and happy generations hugging each other in the same living room. The real Mother’s Day for so many is simply another day hoping for healing. Longing for restoration.

When our kids were young, Dennis always took them to buy me something, usually a plant like a rose bush or a hydrangea plant. And of course, they all brought me something they made that morning in Sunday school.

But now that they are all adults and living miles away, Mother’s Day is usually quiet with no children around to celebrate with. My daughters and daughters-in-law are being celebrated by their own kids now.

Mother’s Day wasn’t usually dreamy for me. 

My kids weren’t suddenly perfect on that day, and I was still called upon to do mom things all day long. And I remember the years when our child who wandered from the faith, and we often didn’t know where this one was, didn’t remember to call, a fresh ache of our lost relationship.

So, no matter which side you find yourself on—a daughter aching for her mother’s love or a mother waiting for a response from the child you raised—there is hope. With Jesus there is always hope!

Start with prayer. First, thank Jesus your Savior that He sees your labor as a mom. Though it’s not and never will be perfect, He loves you, is pleased that you love your children, and wants to help you love them more purely.

Second, pray for your own heart, that you would find your joy in the Lord during this time of sadness. Pray for the heart of your mom or your daughter that God would soften the way and open up a means of communication.

Third, you can act on behalf of the relationship that’s lost, by faith.

As a daughter, whether you think your mom deserves recognition or not, her status as your mom means she is honorable. The fifth commandment, “Honor your father and mother,” is the only one of the Ten Commandments with promise: “That it may go well with you.” Recognizing the woman your mother is, even as the person who gave you life, is worth sending a small card, a short text, or even leaving a voicemail.

As a mom, whether you think your child will remember you or not, remember your child. Give thanks to God for the gift of life He gave you…and let your child know that you did. Recognize the gift that your child is to even allow you to celebrate Mother’s Day at all. Send a small card, a short text, or leave a voicemail.

Rebuilding a relationship is never easy. It’s a slow, laborious process that sometimes never even begins this side of heaven. But God can restore brokenness in families. I pray that He provides peace for you this Mother’s Day.

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9 thoughts on “For the Hurting Mom or Daughter on Mother’s Day”

  1. Thank you so much!! My relationship is not good with my mother or with my older daughter!
    This was very helpful!!

    1. Barbara Rainey

      So glad this was an encouragement to you! Don’t lose hope…God loves to restore and redeem relationships!

  2. I celebrate my wonderful and loving Christian Mom in heaven. Don’t forget that even though some of our Mother’s are away in heaven we can continue to celebrate them and honor them each Mom’s day. I have no children and never have been celebrated on Mom’s Day but I can celebrate Mom.

  3. How true. Thank you for reminding me. I pray for a restoration with my oldest son and family for 6 long years. Still no sign of restoration but I know my loving God will one day bring us together again. I have another son that I have occasional communication with but never receive any cards, etc for any occasions. He also is married and some day he will acknowledge me. But I have a God that loves me !!

  4. Linda Carol Schrader

    Thank you, Barbara, for your honesty, vulnerability and your loving insights. I always appreciate your heart in your messages. This one is just overflowing with love and loving but practical ideas to encourage us all toward honoring mothers & daughters (including daughters-in-love). The Lord is the Restorer of relationships and only He can truly do that, but He works with us and shows us what to do as well, toward that restoration. His Word is full of ideas and encouragement to pray, to walk in love & to have faith. He will always give us ideas about what to do, sometimes through gifted, experienced teachers and sometimes in our own hearts. You gave us some ideas & He will fine tune that with each of us for our family, if we ask and listen for His answer.

  5. Jill Swanson

    Heavenly Father,
    Thank you for putting Barbara and Dennis on our path. Isaiah 40:11 is such a comfort to our longing hearts. Thank You for Your promises, provision, and protection through the years. Just like a hen gathers her chicks, continually, You bring us all together. Help us to hear Your loving voice as You save our children and loved ones.
    In Jesus’ powerful and mighty name above names!

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