Motherhood, for me, was a minefield of less-than-honorable passions.
Sloughing through a thankless and often humiliating gauntlet of messes and mistakes elicited more anger and exhausted misery than I ever thought possible. Yes, there were multitudes of joys! But that was not where most of the lessons were learned.
Not until I had been mothering for almost two decades did I fully understand and accept that motherhood was God’s school of reformation for me. His training efforts in my heart were as vital to Him as the training of my children was to me! I could not find success in my role without continually, daily—even hourly—submitting myself to His government of my life and my home…and my frustrated, spent heart.
There are two parts to this mysterious lesson plan of His: to earnestly pray for stamina to regulate my passions, and yet to simultaneously not depend on my own strength. It is critical that I discern the Source of any success, any life, any self-control. Am I depending on what I possess? Or in recognition of my utter bankruptcy leaning on Him alone?