Upon Awaking

My limbs leaden this morning

my head pounding

my thinking dull from interrupted sleep.

Jesus did you ever feel this way?

You were fully human

You too experienced interrupted sleep.

In my kitchen

coffee helps but can’t dispel the sluggishness.

Multiplied needs of others

assail me;

my calendar’s commitments…must be kept

but seem too much…

how will I press through?

I am sufficient You said.

My power is perfected in weakness.*

I believe this is true,

but will You be enough for me today?

A bolt of supernatural energy

lifting my lethargy

would sure be nice, Lord.

But that kind of power from on high

has never been given to me.

Interrupted sleep has been mine,

repeatedly

over and over and over

for decades of seasons.

Newborn needs and toddler demands,

middle schooler and teen dramas

college kids’ wanderings and dangers

empty nest fears and aging aches.

Interruptions never cease

day or night.

Walk by faith and not by sight,*

I remember.

For the eyes of the Lord see the heart*

He looks for those who are fully His.*

Lord what do You see in my heart?

I see discouragement that I cannot rise above

I see limited accomplishment ahead,

And the need for a nap.

I wish I were unaffected by my body’s rhythms

I wish for vitality

I wish for power to rise above

I wish I weren’t so human.

I am wishing for heaven.

I condemn myself when I become impatient,

disbelieving, angry.

but You don’t;

for there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus*

You love me Just As I Am

In all my weaknesses and frailties.

O Lover of my soul,

You know my frame;

You remember that I am dust.

As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him,*

who come to Him and say,

“Help me, Lord.”

Interruptions, infirmities, inadequacies

are mercies in disguise,

treasures of grace wait to be discovered in the darkness,

in the fog of my fatigue,

if I will but ask.

Here I am, Lord,

Help me.

I will trust You, believe You are with me,

believe You are enough

for my needs

Amen.

*2 Corinthians 5:7, I Samuel 16:7, Romans 8:1, Psalm 103:13,

Imagining Jesus living with morning fatigue, interrupted sleep, and the continual press of people needing, wanting His attention helps me know I am not alone. Jesus loved the women around Him. He had compassion on their struggles. He has compassion on mine.

And He prays for me before the Father. My devoted Friend and Brother knows my frailties and loves me still. Knowing this is true brings comfort to my soul.

Does such knowledge do the same for you?

May you run to Him in your need. He will never turn you away.

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23 thoughts on “Upon Awaking”

      1. Amen to that Hallaluja praise the Lord God, I hav jst joined so look forward to sharing wit new Sisters in Christ n hopefully new Friends God bless u all v

  1. Thank you, Barbara, for your vulnerable honesty. Interrupted sleep is surely the bane of every mother. I am wrestling through major depression and you are so right when you admit self-condemnation when you are impatient, unbelieving, angry. It is a big part of my struggle. Thank you for the reminders of His love, acceptance, and grace just waiting for our cry!

  2. Thank you Barbara for your words of reminder of the closeness of our Saviour, Jesus. He does know our path and He has traveled it before. I appreciate you giving us the scripture references. Six years ago today the Lord took my Mom to her heavenly home to enjoy sweet fellowship with Him without all the emotional problems this world presented to her. I miss her but God has flooded my mind with so many blessings He has given. We are in a season of asking the Lord to lead our 2 older young men to Him. Our God can even give them hearts to seek Him and He can find them, our Great Shepherd. Thank you for reminding us of the great hope we have all because our Amazing Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! with gratitude, Jacque

    1. Jacque, thanks for writing. We are sorry to hear of your loss but thankful for how God comforts us and shows His faithfulness to us. He truly is our only Hope and the Anchor of our soul.

  3. Describes my life at the moment. Hard to age and have all the symptoms that keep us awake. Thank you for reminding me of His love and care.

    1. God is so good! Thank you for sharing this. It is so true. I can’t help but smile, because I am going through the same things, esp. the interrupted sleep. Thank God for His encompassing LOVE!

  4. I too struggle with sleep issues, but this verse from the Bible haunts me:

    Psalm 127:2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for He grants sleep to those he loves.

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