Best Practices for 2020

Her name is Mary. She’s mom to three little ones, married ten years. Last October we had a brief conversation in a room filled with the happy chatter of women who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Mary happily left her husband and father in charge while she and her mom had an evening out. I’ve known Mary since she was a little girl, her mom and I have been long-distance friends since college. 

After a big hug and brief how-are-yous, I asked about her little ones, all girls. She replied they were good, and she loves being a mom. Then she said, “I’m realizing it’s time to start making decisions about how to manage Santa Claus and help my oldest understand who Jesus is at Christmas and Easter.”

Music to my ears!

She then asked me about Ever Thine Home and said she loves everything we do. Pausing for a second, she then shared that she and her husband loved attending FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway early in their marriage; it helped them walk through some hard days. 

I encouraged her to attend again, explaining how much we change as individuals in marriage. After 10 years of marriage, she and her husband were not the same people as when they walked down the aisle. For Dennis and me, I said, we were reminded of truth we needed to work on in our marriage every time we spoke at one of these getaways. 

Mary and I spoke less than 10 minutes. But in that short dialogue I saw the longing of every human heart to find meaning, authenticity and deep connections with our most important people; family.

As our collective conversations in these early days of 2020 focus on resolutions or personal goals, my encouragement for you my friends is to renew your intentionality in life’s most important relationships—with God, with your spouse and with your children. 

As I encouraged Mary to take the initiative with her husband to return to the Weekend to Remember, I say the same to you. All marriages evolve, change, and surface new needs in our lives. A static marriage is a dying one. Ten, 15, or 20 years into marriage, both spouses are very different people in every marriage. Tending to your marriage is no less important than paying attention to your body with an annual physical or your house or car with regular maintenance. You are in a place to hear the same eternal truth of God with different ears. 

Dennis and I will always love and champion the ministry God birthed through us. FamilyLife has a great team of speaker couples—including our son and daughter-in-law (we admit we’re biased, but we think they are two of our best!) If you register for a Weekend to Remember this spring you might get to hear their wisdom!

Another way to be intentional about your marriage in 2020 is to purchase our devotional books, Moments Together Collection. Take the initiative to add depth of conversation in your marriage on a daily basis. Great marriages don’t just happen. Decide to invest in this most important relationship.

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